Hello, darlings. Are you there?

I've decided that today is Open Mic――er, Keyboard――Night. SO I've written something, and here it is. Feel free to post your own. Please note I am absolutely the furthest thing from a poet. :)

All around me are contradictions. People are contradictions, textbooks and social rules are contradictions. I am a contradiction too, but mostly I don't mind. If you think about it, nothing makes sense. My problem is that, thinking. Some people go through life without thinking at all, and yet I think and overthink. What is it that makes us think or not? Why do irrational things make sense, while the things that come easily to the rest of the world seem a senseless dream, just out of my reach? Somedays I feel more connected than others, and some I feel so different from everyone else I might implode. Some days I wish I could just float away, and live with the birds and clouds and uncomplicated things. Or land somewhere far away, where things make sense and nothing is ever out of reach. Some days music is my only sanctuary...all kinds, happy and sad and loud and soft and fast and slow. The world falls away and all that's left is me and the words and the music. Words are a comfort as well. Times like now, when I don't have access to music or quiet space, I write. I write about anything, everything; fill pages and pages that were once blank, empty. And when I finish I feel like I could burst, or happily sleep forever. I feel content. If I could only live in this notebook, with my words and music forever. I'd be happy forever.

*snaps*

Go forth and dance with the world.

Don't Think or Judge. Just Listen.

Hello dollies.

SO, today's topic is exes. And the Battle Of. The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is:

1) you fall in love with your very best friend.

2) You date said best friend, who is unfortunately leaving to Italy for ONE ENTIRE YEAR in August.

3) After roughly (or exactly..) ten days or dating in which no in-person date happened due to conflicting schedules, aforementioned best friend/boyfriend breaks up with you by phone, saying he would prefer to be just friends due to the fact that he's leaving in, oh, SIX months.

4) Said boy-slash-EX calls you again within five minutes. Twice. You don't pick up due to hiccups/tears/general pissed-offness.

5) Said boy IMs you on facebook as you are IMing FEMALE best friend. Tries to outweigh emotion with logic. You don't understand and refuse to.

6) Said boy chooses a different tactic and says he understands your point of view as well. Tells you he loves you (for the first time in English) and says he doesn't ever want to lose you. Repeats the word "ever". Says, and I quote, "just because we aren't 'dating', my feelings for you haven't changed." But still insists on a breakup, which you don't argue with so as not to look pathetic.

7) You rant, yell, and eventually give up and go offline. Call female best friend since you aren't done being upset.

8) You calm down and go to sleep, fake being fine-just-fine the next day.

9) Inside, you're still stung and pissed off and confused, and you try to recreate the friendship with said boy, but he makes it awkward.

10) Finally have seminormal conversation with said boy, but then internally break down because you miss something you never really had. And also because the fact that you ALMOST had it hurts more than losing it.

11) You wish things were different and pretend you dont think about what could've been, even though you do all the time.

12) You wonder if his feelings for you REALLY are the same, even though female best friend has told him you are well liked by the male population at your new school and you like another boy. Even though First Boy tells her he likes other girls.

13) You wonder if he's a total asshole, or if he's just saving face. And you notice he's changed a lot, and you wonder where the boy you fell for went.

And there we are, at "lucky" thirteen. Mostly because that's where I am now.

And one more thing---during said seminormal conversation, said boy uses one of your favorite quotes EVER while showing you a song he thinks you'd like.

"Don't think or judge. Just Listen."

My Imaginary Superpower...

Do you ever wish for one random superpower for many reasons? I'd be a mind-reader. I'm one of those sometimes-annoyingly-motherly people who always wants to help but NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS before I can do that. So to all of you internalizing boyfriends out there (aka, mine!) just tell me whats stressing you out so much?? I just want to help. Kthxbye.

at its worst the heart is sober....at its worst the hearts is cold

Long time no talk, in a coon's age!

Howdy, Dears an' Darlin's.

Well I do declare! I haven't written in a while, but there hasn't been much to write about, quite honestly, y'all...even though I've been busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time. Anyways, I was hopin' by now this here page would have made a little progress, but like Momma says, "Don't count your chickens till they hatch!" I'm sitting here wondering what in the world a girl has to do to get a followin' around here. But even a blind dog finds an acorn now and then, y'all, so we'll see. And I know, I know, don't let the tail wag the dog, but I'd like to have some input 'n feedback from all y'all anyway!

Well, y'all got the short end of the stick anyway, havin' to listen to me ramble. But every once in a while I'd like a comment or two, pleasy! I don't mind what you say, go hog wild, since y'all are about as scarce as a hen's teeth! What's that, doll? You don't understand a single word I've said in this here note? Well shut my mouth! Haven't you, dollies? My word! Well I do declare. Well don't get your feathers all ruffled, this here's the only time I'll speak in country-talk, doves, so you needn't holler like stuck pigs. All I was tryin' was to give y'all a little taste of the south, and might I say that that web site, Google, is a big help when it comes to understandin' people like me---it's as easy as slidin' off a greasy log backward.

Bye, bye, southern belles and farmer-in-the-dells!