Hello, darlings. Are you there?

I've decided that today is Open Mic――er, Keyboard――Night. SO I've written something, and here it is. Feel free to post your own. Please note I am absolutely the furthest thing from a poet. :)

All around me are contradictions. People are contradictions, textbooks and social rules are contradictions. I am a contradiction too, but mostly I don't mind. If you think about it, nothing makes sense. My problem is that, thinking. Some people go through life without thinking at all, and yet I think and overthink. What is it that makes us think or not? Why do irrational things make sense, while the things that come easily to the rest of the world seem a senseless dream, just out of my reach? Somedays I feel more connected than others, and some I feel so different from everyone else I might implode. Some days I wish I could just float away, and live with the birds and clouds and uncomplicated things. Or land somewhere far away, where things make sense and nothing is ever out of reach. Some days music is my only sanctuary...all kinds, happy and sad and loud and soft and fast and slow. The world falls away and all that's left is me and the words and the music. Words are a comfort as well. Times like now, when I don't have access to music or quiet space, I write. I write about anything, everything; fill pages and pages that were once blank, empty. And when I finish I feel like I could burst, or happily sleep forever. I feel content. If I could only live in this notebook, with my words and music forever. I'd be happy forever.

*snaps*

Go forth and dance with the world.

Don't Think or Judge. Just Listen.

Hello dollies.

SO, today's topic is exes. And the Battle Of. The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is:

1) you fall in love with your very best friend.

2) You date said best friend, who is unfortunately leaving to Italy for ONE ENTIRE YEAR in August.

3) After roughly (or exactly..) ten days or dating in which no in-person date happened due to conflicting schedules, aforementioned best friend/boyfriend breaks up with you by phone, saying he would prefer to be just friends due to the fact that he's leaving in, oh, SIX months.

4) Said boy-slash-EX calls you again within five minutes. Twice. You don't pick up due to hiccups/tears/general pissed-offness.

5) Said boy IMs you on facebook as you are IMing FEMALE best friend. Tries to outweigh emotion with logic. You don't understand and refuse to.

6) Said boy chooses a different tactic and says he understands your point of view as well. Tells you he loves you (for the first time in English) and says he doesn't ever want to lose you. Repeats the word "ever". Says, and I quote, "just because we aren't 'dating', my feelings for you haven't changed." But still insists on a breakup, which you don't argue with so as not to look pathetic.

7) You rant, yell, and eventually give up and go offline. Call female best friend since you aren't done being upset.

8) You calm down and go to sleep, fake being fine-just-fine the next day.

9) Inside, you're still stung and pissed off and confused, and you try to recreate the friendship with said boy, but he makes it awkward.

10) Finally have seminormal conversation with said boy, but then internally break down because you miss something you never really had. And also because the fact that you ALMOST had it hurts more than losing it.

11) You wish things were different and pretend you dont think about what could've been, even though you do all the time.

12) You wonder if his feelings for you REALLY are the same, even though female best friend has told him you are well liked by the male population at your new school and you like another boy. Even though First Boy tells her he likes other girls.

13) You wonder if he's a total asshole, or if he's just saving face. And you notice he's changed a lot, and you wonder where the boy you fell for went.

And there we are, at "lucky" thirteen. Mostly because that's where I am now.

And one more thing---during said seminormal conversation, said boy uses one of your favorite quotes EVER while showing you a song he thinks you'd like.

"Don't think or judge. Just Listen."

My Imaginary Superpower...

Do you ever wish for one random superpower for many reasons? I'd be a mind-reader. I'm one of those sometimes-annoyingly-motherly people who always wants to help but NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS before I can do that. So to all of you internalizing boyfriends out there (aka, mine!) just tell me whats stressing you out so much?? I just want to help. Kthxbye.

at its worst the heart is sober....at its worst the hearts is cold

Long time no talk, in a coon's age!

Howdy, Dears an' Darlin's.

Well I do declare! I haven't written in a while, but there hasn't been much to write about, quite honestly, y'all...even though I've been busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time. Anyways, I was hopin' by now this here page would have made a little progress, but like Momma says, "Don't count your chickens till they hatch!" I'm sitting here wondering what in the world a girl has to do to get a followin' around here. But even a blind dog finds an acorn now and then, y'all, so we'll see. And I know, I know, don't let the tail wag the dog, but I'd like to have some input 'n feedback from all y'all anyway!

Well, y'all got the short end of the stick anyway, havin' to listen to me ramble. But every once in a while I'd like a comment or two, pleasy! I don't mind what you say, go hog wild, since y'all are about as scarce as a hen's teeth! What's that, doll? You don't understand a single word I've said in this here note? Well shut my mouth! Haven't you, dollies? My word! Well I do declare. Well don't get your feathers all ruffled, this here's the only time I'll speak in country-talk, doves, so you needn't holler like stuck pigs. All I was tryin' was to give y'all a little taste of the south, and might I say that that web site, Google, is a big help when it comes to understandin' people like me---it's as easy as slidin' off a greasy log backward.

Bye, bye, southern belles and farmer-in-the-dells!

Jetsetting, My, My, How Lovely...

Helloooo, my neglected nonexistent readers!
Merry Christmas to you Jesusians, Happy Hannukah to you lovely people of Israel, Happy Kwanzaa to whoever celebrates that (?), or Happy Winter if you're an ATHEIST! ;) Guess what, my multicultural friends? I'm going HOME!!! Well, sort of. I'm going back to Beirut, Lebanon, for Christmas...to see family and just because we love it. I used to live there. And our layover is in PARIS! Funfunfun with the French! Going to the Louvre and the Xmas market on the---let's see if I can spell it---Chans du Lise! It's goin to be cooooool. And my aunt, who knows Paris like the back of her hand (lucky woman!!) is going to show us around. Lovelovelove, I am SO excited! Can you tell? Of course I will be telling all of you lovely yet invisible pals of mine about anything interesting that happens, but for now let me list the disastrous goings-on in my house as we last-minute pack.
A) My 11 year old brother broke his wrist last Wednesday. We get a call, in the car, from his doctor's office, canceling our appointment and pushing it to 10:30. We have to be AT THE AIRPORT 40 MINUTES AWAY at 11:30. My mother exploded, and then an hour or so later we get a call saying someone can see him at eight. QUITE a waste of that bottle of vodka my mother drained. Just kidding ;) she only had one glass. Red wine, she so classy!

B) I was completely finished packing, miracle of miracles. I go to put the CDs my best friend had made me on my computer to transfer the to my iPod, and my KEYBOARD AND MOUSE ARE NOT WORKING. So. AFter spending an hour and a half on the phone and on hold with tech support, who had zip idea how to fix it, I go into total breakdown mode. Crying, hyperventilating, downing that aforementioned vodka bottle. Just kidding. Yuck. But I did freak out. And then I called the source of the CDs, who reminded me why I love her in the first place---she immediately said "YES!! Now I get to add to that CD, AND make you the four more I didn't have time to yesterday!!!" Ahh. This woman saves my life/sanity on a regular basis.

So, the house is peaceful again. Mostly. Not a creature is stirring, not even a m...oh wait, there goes my brother. Haha, did you ever think any house with an eleven year old boy in it could ever be peaceful?

Well. Nothing more to say until we land in PARIS! For now, I have a date with that vodka bottle. Jeez, just kidding! When are you going to stop falling for that? ;)

Alright, I need to stop----I'm playing Bad Joke Friday and it's not even Friday yet!

Peace, Love, And Free Cheese to ALL!

Your babbling blogger...
Moi <3

Mute!

All right...Here is my only outlet at the moment, because I officially have NO VOICE! Can you imagine? And I'm going to have insane amounts of makeup work...but moving on from that. I have fallen in love with the Beatles, especially "Revolution"! And "Come Together" has given me a new term for the lovely attendees of St. Hoes: Holy Rollers. Perfect, yes? Especially when everyone's parents' BMWs have those "I Believe" stickers on the back window.

So as I'm sitting here drinking my body weight in tea and popping unhealthy amounts of Halls,hoping someone out there is actually reading this, I'm also dying to watch the episode of Glee I missed on wednesday. But my computer won't load it, so it stops when kirk says the word "grandmother". And it's not even the end of his sentence! So if anyone knows how to watch it on a non-crappy website or something, kindly explain to me that too.

Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks!

we all wanna change the world.

Post Your Secrets with Me

Welcome to my own version of PostSecret....I can't get enough of that website and I'd love to send domething in....but that would involve and explanation to my mother. So here I am. I'll post my own secret, and then you guys can post, anonymously or under your name, your own secret. Here goes!

When you called me, so excited about leaving, and told me the interviewer said you were amazing....I had to bite my lip to keep from telling you that she had no idea.

I love you, but you might never know it.

Your turn! <3

And you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold...You can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold